When online gaming interferes with our real life
You’re spending day in, day out playing a game in a virtual world – Overwatch, World of Warcraft, or some other MMORPG.
Your character of choice may be an accurate representation of your personality. Let’s say you like to help people in real life. You might probably play as a healer most of the time. But perhaps you’re taking the opportunity to push your boundaries and experiment with a virtual character who is the antithesis of you. So, you opt for a more aggressive in-game character to see what that feels like.
When you spend a significant amount of time invested in your character – customising their looks, building a character arc, interacting with other players in a way that feels natural to the character you’ve created in your mind – they gradually become a real part of you. They’re no longer a fictional character that you tap into for a limited time, but a part of your actual identity. Have you ever caught yourself saying something like: ‘Hello my name is Davinia, and I’m a Mercy and Sombra player on Overwatch’ or ‘an Angel on Second Life’ or ‘A Mesmer in Guild Wars’.
I believe that the roles we choose to play online, especially on immersive multiplayer platforms, are part of our real selves.
You’re essentially the same person online as you are offline. The difference is that virtual spaces operate under a different set of rules and boundaries. This allows our personality to become more liminal, where certain traits begin to stretch and become more exaggerated.
This, coupled with the fact that we are hidden behind a screen, allows us to lower our inhibitions and let loose. Those aspects of ourselves which are heavily controlled and filtered in society, are suddenly freed. As such, we might (un)consciously choose to access different parts of ourselves to do things online that we otherwise wouldn’t when in person.
Online worlds can be incredibly liberating. As a gamer myself, I love being able to lose myself in my character, the beautifully rendered fantastical worlds, and the missions at hand. Sometimes, however, it can be too easy to lose ourselves in the game, that we might feel put off when we must face reality again. We become so acclimatise to acting out our personalities anonymously in an online world of no consequences, that when we are faced with a real-world issue, we suddenly find ourselves unable to cope or unsure of how to deal with the situation.
Why does this happen? It’s simple – we have lost touch with our real selves.
Our identity has shifted so much to the online world, that we now need to recalibrate to the real again. Some people may find it easy to re-centre themselves. For others, this poses more of a challenge. And so we need to put in place measures and boundaries that will help us find a healthy balance between life and our gaming selves.
Indicators that something is off
There are a few common indicators that reveal whether we’ve become too engrossed in our gaming:
– Are you constantly turning to your consoles and gaming devices at every opportunity?
– Do you find it difficult to disconnect from online games for a few days on the trot, or a week?
– Are your friendships, relationships with loved ones, and commitments such as you job or education suffering because you’re prioritising gaming over the real world?
If you find yourself answering ‘yes’ to one or more of these questions, then it may be time for you to reach out for help and find balance.
Self-help tips
If you wish to take matters into your own hands and try a few things out before heading to a professional, here are my suggested tips:
– Set a timer on how long you play for and include regular breaks.
– If a game is starting to stress you out, it’s a clear indication that you need to take a break. Set the game aside and do something else.
– Limit and choose one device to play on, e.g. only play on our desktop and leave your mobile devices free from gaming.
– If a loved one is talking to you, close the game, and give them your full attention.
– Meditate, find the time to reconnect with the real you again.
– Exercise, move about, or dance. The key here is to move your body. This will help you reconnect with your physical self and give you a sweet dopamine and serotonin kick, which will improve your mood and wellbeing.
This isn’t a call to abandon your gaming completely. I love games and they form an important part of my life. From experience, I know that gaming can be incredibly enriching, and it has allowed me to form lasting connections with people from around the globe through entertaining, immersive worlds. It’s all about finding a balance, where you’re dedicating sufficient time, energy and care to all aspects of your life to be the healthiest and most content version of yourself.
